The Sensei of Oz
by Edge of De Wall
Summary: Wizard of Oz Pardoy using Ninja Storm.. prepare for Crossdressing and Crossovers. Contains Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll! Yes we said so you will click on it.


The Sensei of Oz (AKA: The Wizard of Oz, a la Power Rangers Ninja Storm)

By Af and Edge of De Wall

Warning/Disclaimer: Power Rangers Ninja Storm is owned not by us. Owned by Disney/BVS Entertainment. If it was owned by us, then we would have money. This does contain Slash, so be warned! Edge: *laughs like Mandark* There is also losts of bashing.. but Edge plans to write another chapter where everyone beats her up. Also sorry to the creaters of Power Rangers, Wizard of Oz, Funamition, J.K. Roweling, Mel Brooks, and the Grim Fairy Tales. (Pick out the referneces to each and win a prize.)

(Tori is randomly frolicking in a field, when a tornado hits out of nowhere (Af: Wait, isn't this California or something? How's a tornado here?  
Edge: Tornadoes can occur anywhere.  
Af: But CALIFORNIA? Don't they get earthquakes?  
Edge: It's a plot device, shut up.))

Tori: Aww, shit! It's a tornado!

(Tori is hit by randomly flying debris, and falls over unconscious. When she regains consciousness, something, or someone is licking her face. She wakes up and finds "Toto" (read as: Blake in a (navy) dog suit) licking her face.)

Tori: What the-! Blake?

"Toto": Woof!

(Tori discovers that she's wearing a blue dress and is in a house.)

Tori: How'd I get here? And what's with the dress?

("Toto" points to the door of the house)

"Toto": Woof.

(Tori walks outside and finds herself in a city of little fanpeople. And Edge.)

Edge: Hi!

Tori: OOOOoooooooooooooookkk… where am I?

Edge: You're in my story, so face it. *laughs like Mandark*

Little fanpeople: You saved us from the Wicked Witch of the East! …Zurgane!

(The little fanpeople point to Zurgane, or more specifically, Zurgane's feet, which are sticking out from under the house, and wearing sapphire high heels (Af: No comment…))

Zurgane: Help, I'm dying.

Tori: …what was I drinking?

(Zurgane makes an odd choking noise, and di- oops, not supposed to mention death, this is a kid's show, umm…  
Edge: Who cares? Is slash for children?  
Af: Well, no, but we're trying to make this parody as funny and fitting as possible. Now help me think up a creative alternative for the word "dies"  
Edge: Another dimension?  
Af: OOOOoooookk… Zurgane makes an odd choking noise and is transported to another dimension. How's that?  
Edge: OK. And make sure the shoes go to Tori.  
Af: OK, OK. I'm getting there. The shoes magically transport themselves onto Tori's feet for no apparent reason.)

Tori: What the hell?

(Just then the "Wicked Witch of the West" (Read as: Lothor) appears.)

Lothor: Damn it! Those shoes are mine! I paid good money for them!

Tori: …These sapphires are fake, though! And if they're yours, why was Zurgane wearing them?

Lothor: ….I bought them for him. Now, I want them back!

(Lothor makes a lunge for the shoes, but gets shocked by them. Then, suddenly, a light appears. It's "Glenda" [Edge: Please don't send me into another dimension! ] (Read as: Hunter), the good witch!)

"Glenda": You can't have those shoes! They magically found their owner!

Lothor: Damn! I guess I'll have to send her into another dimension later!

(Lothor runs off.)

Tori: Hunter, why are you in a dress?

"Glenda": Shut up, I happen to like it. I feel pretty!

(A breeze blows, and "Glenda"'s (crimson) dress flies up. Everyone clutches their eyes and screams.)

"Toto": Woof. I told you not to go commando.

"Glenda": But I like a nice breeze around my privates! (Edge: With many apologies to J.K. Rowling.)

Tori: Oook, who cares about that? Just, who are you?

"Glenda": I'm Glenda! The good witch! And you're supposed to follow the copper brick road to the Platinum City, where the Sensei of Oz will grant a wish to you. Like say, going home.

Tori: Oooook.

(The chorus of "Follow the Copper Brick Road" plays, as Tori and "Toto" frolick down the copper brick road. Clankety clankety clankety clank. They come upon a field where they notice a scarecrow all decked out in yellow (Read as: Dustin, if you didn't notice.))

Dustin: Whee! Monkey!

Tori: What the heck? Dustin?

Dustin: Hello? Who are you? Was I doing something? Who am I?

Tori: You need a brain.

Dustin: I think somebody's said that to me before… What's a brain?

(Dustin proceeds to sing "If I Only Had a Brain", but consistently forgets the words.)

Dustin: What are you doing?

Tori: We're going to the Sensei of Oz, who can grant wishes. Maybe you should come, and, I don't know, get a **BRAIN**.

Dustin: OK!

(Tori, "Toto", and Dustin proceed to frolick down the copper brick road. Clankety clankety clankety clank. While going through a forest, they encounter a green tinman (Read as: Cam, duh.) that appears to be in need of an oiling.)

Cam: *Muffled* Fuckin' oil me!

Tori: I think he needs to be oiled…

Dustin: What's oil?

(Dustin pulls a big can that says "OIL" on it out of nowhere.)

Dustin: Is this oil?

Tori: Yes, give me that.

(Tori takes the oil from Dustin and oils Cam. (Edge: That sounded soo horribly wrong.  
Af: …You're right. Got any better phraseology?  
Edge: No, but we've got our "nudity" and we have to fulfill the "sex" promise.  
Af: Hmm, you have a point. Now how are we going to fulfill those drugs and rock and roll promises?  
Edge: Leave that to me.  
  
Edge: Yes.  
Af: If you say so…) Cam looks at Dustin)

Cam: Where the fuck have you been?

Dustin: Who, me?

Cam: No, the tooth fairy. Of COURSE, you, stupid!

Dustin: The tooth fairy? Oh, now I remember! I was supposed to gather wood! And… I left you out in the rain, didn't I?

(Cam nods, then puts Dustin in a chokehold.)

Tori: Listen, we're going to the Sensei of Oz to get our wishes granted, and you obviously need a heart. And soul.

(Cam then proceeds to sing "If I Only Had a Heart. And Soul." With Dustin still in a chokehold. Dustin makes choking noises. After 20-some minutes, Cam finally releases him.)

Cam: OK, let's go to this Sensei of Oz thing.

(Tori, "Toto", Cam, and Dustin go down the copper brick road, arm in arm, except for Cam, while singing the chorus to "Follow the Copper Brick Road," except for Cam, who's singing the chorus to "Follow the Fuckin' Damn Road." Clankety clankety clankety clank. They go into another forest.)

Tori: Lions,

Dustin: Tigers?

Cam: …

"Toto": Woof. You're supposed to say bears. Woof.

Cam: Why the fuck should I say that?

"Toto": Woof. Because it's part of the song.

Cam: I don't give a fuck about the song! I have no heart, remember! Or a soul.

Dustin: What are tigers?

Cam: Tigers. That's sex.

Dustin: What's sex?

Shane: I can't believe you don't know what sex is? What kind of teenage male are you?

(Everyone stops and looks at Shane, who's in a bright red lion suit.)

Tori: Let me guess, you're the lion.

Shane: Yes, and I'm supposedly cowardly.

"Toto": Woof. Oh, look. A spider.

(Shane screams like a girl and jumps on Cam.)

Cam: What the-? Get off!

(Shane gets down and realizes that his dignity was destroyed. He then sings "If Only I Wasn't Afraid of Spiders." (Af: Why do I have a feeling that'd be hard to sing?  
Edge: Because… *Edge proceeds to sing the song, causing windows to shatter and cats to die*  
Af: …I was right.))

Tori: Boy, this speech is getting old. Anyway, we're going to see the Sensei of Oz, and he can grant wishes, and you need courage against spiders, so why don't you come with us, yada yada yada.

Shane: Gee, that would be nice.

Dustin: What's courage?

Shane and Cam: How dense can one person get?

(Tori pulls a hammer out of nowhere and hits Dustin.)

Dustin: Ow! What hit in head?

"Toto": *looks up Tori's dress* Wooooooooooooof.

(Tori then whacks "Toto" with the hammer.)

Tori: How DARE you look up my dress?! I don't care if you ARE my boyfriend in a dog costume!

Everyone: …

Dustin: What's a boyfriend?

(Tori, "Toto", Dustin, Cam, and Shane go down the copper brick road, same as before. Clankety clankety clankety clank. The copper brick road goes through a field of poppies. (Af: Did you know that opium is made out of poppies? Hey, we've got our drugs! Now we need our rock 'n' roll.  
Edge: * gets the CD: Siam Shade III*))

Tori: I feel sleepy.

(Tori falls down.)

"Toto": Woooooooof.

("Toto" also falls down.)

Shane: I don't know about you guys, but I feel tired.

(Shane falls down. And starts snoring. Loudly. Be glad you can't hear it, people.)

Dustin: What happened?

Cam: They're enjoying the world of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Especially the drugs part.

Dustin: What's sex, drugs, and rock and roll?

Cam: You want to find out?

Dustin: Yes.

Cam: Come with me.

(''Cum With Me" (Af: ROCK AND ROLL! YAY.) plays over while Cam and Dustin go off to experiment with drugs. I think you all know where this is headed.

Edge: Especially in my mind!)

Cam: Oh, yes, baby!

Dustin: You like that, don't you?

Cam: Oh, yeah!

(Af: I don't think that requires any further explination. (Edge *laughs like Mandark*) Later they come back to the field of poppies, where Tori, "Toto", and Shane are still hig- I mean, knocked out.)

Dustin: That was fun!

Cam: Yes. Wait, I had sex with you, didn't I?

Dustin: I think so.

Cam: Damn those drugs!

(Tori, "Toto", and Shane finally recover, and get up.)

Tori: That was fun! Let's do that again!

"Toto": Woof!

Shane: I hear ya!

(Tori, "Toto", and Shane fall over again. Dustin looks at Cam and grins like the idiot he is.)

Cam: No. Not after what happened last time.

(Skip forward to two hours later. Tori, "Toto", and Shane get up again.)

Cam: Can we go to Platinum City now?

Shane: Just one more time?

Cam: No. I've had enough sex.

(Tori, "Toto", and Shane look at Dustin.)

Tori: I didn't know he was capable!

Cam: Drugs can do anything.

Dustin: But last ti-

Cam: Shut up!

(Tori, "Toto", and Shane look at Cam.)

Tori: Cam, is there something you need to tell us?

Cam: No!

Tori: How many times have you had sex? Today?

Cam: …50… Maybe more…

Shane: Wow. We were out for a while.

"Toto": Woof.

Cam: Let's get on to Platinum City.

Dustin: Whatever you say, love muffin!

Cam: DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!

Dustin: But you said-

Cam: DON'T CALL ME THAT!!

Tori: I think we've now established that Dustin and Cam are dating…

Shane: Wow, a lot happens when you're out on drugs.

(Tori, "Toto", Dustin, Cam, and Shane finally reach Platinum City, and are blinded because it's uber-shiny.)

Everybody: I'm blind!

(Let's skip the part about the munchkin asking about a horse of a different color and all the crap, and get onto the Sensei of Oz. To save time (and because the authors are way too lazy to think up separate parts for this), they enter the room together. The "Sensei of Oz" is apparently Mandark's (from Dexter's Lab, people!) floating, flaming head.)

Mandark's head: AH-HAHA! AH-HAHA-HAHA! What do you want?

Tori: We would like our wishes granted.

Mandark's head: You and everybody else have to take a test. You must get the broom and dress of Lothor, the Wicked Witch of the West.

Cam: There's a lot of cross-dressing in this fic.

("Glenda" pops out of nowhere.)

"Glenda": Hey, I like this dress!

("Glenda" dissapears.)

Mandark's head: Now, go! Before I flame you to death!

(They all run off, and again, to save time, and because we're lazy, we've automatically put them in the dark forest area. Shane sees the flying spiders and screams like a girl again.)

Shane: FLYING SPIDERS!!

(The flying spiders take Tori, giving everybody a nice view of what's inside her dress.)

"Toto": Woooooof!

("Toto" then notices that everybody else is also looking up Tori's dress, and bites them all. Well, except for Shane, he's hiding in a corner over there. Whimpering like a baby.)

"Toto": Woof! She's my girlfriend, only I'm allowed to look up her skirt! Besides, aren't you two gay?

Cam: No I'm not!

Dustin: What's gay?

"Toto": Woof. Whatever. We have to rescue her. Somebody hit Shane.

(Cam hits Shane with the blunt edge of his axe, and they all run off to rescue Tori. To save time, they arrive 5 seconds later.)

Lothor: What the fuck are you kids doing here?

"Toto": Woof. We're here to save Tori, dumbass.

("Toto" then raises his leg and does what dogs do. All over Lothor. (Af: That can't be sanitary.))

"Toto": Woof! Haha, eat that, bitch!

Lothor: Aaahh, I'm melting! I'm meeeeelting.

(Lothor melts, leaving a urine-covered dress.)

Shane: Damnit, I ain't touching that dress!

"Toto": Woof. Hey, it worked, what more do you want? Make Cam pick it up, he's a robot.

Cam: Hey, I might be a "robot" but I'm not touching it.

(So, the boys force Dustin to put it in a sanitary bag, and make him carry it.)

Cam: Don't eat it.

(For convenience, Tori comes flying out of nowhere on the broom.)

Tori: Hey, look what I found!

(They all go off, and see the Sensei. Again, because we're lazy, they're all together again.)

Mandark's head: What the fuck is this?

Shane: It's a urine-soaked dress, sir.

Mandark's head: I didn't ask for anything urine-soaked!

"Toto": Woof!

("Toto" pulls the curtain, and we see a guinea pig. Sensei, o' course.)

Mandark's head: Pay no attention to the guinea pig behind the curtain!

(Because the authors are uncreative, Mandark's head shuts off and Sensei begins to speak.)

Sensei: Yes, I am the Sensei of Oz. And now I will grant your wishes.

(Sensei hands Shane a big ol' pair of boots.)

Sensei: Wear these, and you can stomp any spiders that come near you.

(Shane puts the shoes on, spots a spider, and steps on it.)

Shane: Yay!

(Sensei hands Dustin a copy of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Life".)

Sensei: Read this. You'll learn something.

Dustin: But I can't read!

Sensei: Ask Cam for help. Speaking of which…

(Sensei hands Cam a bottle labeled "CAM'S SOUL".)

Sensei: Here's your soul. Your mother and I bottled it.

Cam: Why?

Sensei: …I forgot. I think we where high at the time.

(Cam opens the bottle.)

Cam: I'll help you read, love muffin!

Dustin: Oh, scrumption-cake? Really?

Cam: Yes.

(Cam puts an arm around Dustin, and they go off somewhere. (Af: Af does not wish to know where!

Edge: I know! *Insert Mandark laugh here*))

Sensei: Now, Tori. I can't get you home. But Glenda can!

("Glenda" appears out of nowhere and everyone laughs.)

"Glenda": Yeah, yeah, shut up. Anyway, Tori, just click your heels together three times and say "there's no place like home" each time you click them. Honestly, haven't you seen the movie before?

Tori: Yeah, but we had to have a story here.

"Toto": Woof.

(Tori then clicks her heels together three times, saying "there's no place like home." She wakes up in Blake's arms, who's no longer in a dog suit, but regular clothes.)

Blake: Hey, Tori, you OK?

Tori: You're not a dog.

Blake: You better be saying that because of the dog collar I'm wearing.

(For Blake is indeed wearing a (navy) dog collar.)

Tori: …

(Intro Cam and Dustin arm in arm, and obviously high. Dustin has hay in his hair, and a copy of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Life" and Cam is wearing a tin funnel. They are carrying a basket.)

Dustin: We're off to the field of magical flowers!

Cam: We're going to go pick them if anyone's interested.

(They wave good-bye and frolick off.)

Tori: …

Blake: They're ambiguously gay now. No clue as to how they got together, but it looks like drugs helped.

(Intro Shane, who's wearing the big combo boots.)

Shane: Hey, she's up! Hey, Hunter, come in here!

(Intro Hunter, in his dress.)

Hunter: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEYY!!

(Hunter hugs Tori.)

Hunter: We thought you were a goner when that debris randomly hit you!

Tori: Why are you in a dress?

Hunter: I'm a cross-dresser didn't you know? I feel pretty!

(Odd noises can be heard in the background. Shane groans.)

Shane: Can't those two stop having sex?

Tori: So everybody changed drastically in the… how long was I out for?

Shane: A year. And Blake married you.

Blake: And now that you're up, you can take care of Blake Jr.!

Tori: …Blake… Jr.??

(Intro Blake Jr., who looks like a miniature Blake, with blonde hair and blue eyes.)

Blake Jr.: MOMMY!

(Blake Jr. hugs Tori.)

Tori: …

Hunter: Hey, look! The ambiguously gay duo's back!

(Dustin and Cam come in with a bunch of flowers.)

Dustin: Boy, I'd like to go for a roll in the hay!

Cam: I'll go!

(Dustin and Cam frolick off again, to go roll, roll, roll in ze hay!)

Tori: …a lot happens when you go into a coma for a year…

-THE END-


End file.
